Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Pretty in Pink!

I'll just blurt out the main details so you don't have to read through the gobble-de-gook if you prefer not to~ (blogger is not letting me break paragraphs, sorry)!!!

So, if you've read the last two posts you know of the recent "bump" again with our original request from our agency (24mos. & under - either gender).
It could seriously be another four months if we continued on that path not including any other "bumpers"! That's not to say that we couldn't have rec'd "the call" in a couple of months, and it also doesn't mean that by stretching out our age request that we'll get "the call" next week or even very soon (but we will, wink wink)!
So after crying last night, getting over it, crying more, getting over it I woke up feeling OK. Not great and not bad. Just OK. I proceeded with our normal routine with b.fast and got Nick ready as today is one of his "school" days (pre-school). After I dropped him off and headed for Walgreens for some badly needed Singulair allergy meds. I started to cry again! Within about one minute of my utter self centeredness and "why me", "why do I keep failing" bull crap, I almost literally was slapped in the face and heard this voice (not literally like a stranger was in the car, but you know what I'm trying to say)... here's what I felt and heard like a thunderbolt!
"What the hell is the matter with you? What is the freakin big deal. Get over yourself! Look at all of those children. The facts are; 1. Children need families (older) 2. You want a child! How hard is it to figure out that you must change your age request"?
And with that I started shaking and called MP. Of course he was in between meetings and had only two minutes to talk... I started to tell him "we need to change, it's so clear and stupid that we never did. One of the reasons we went to 24mos. is because the agency and country for that matter was in dire need for parents of toddlers". I continued,"all this time we've both been secretly hoping for a girl and want one so bad but were afraid to mess with "fate" and God's plan". I told him "its time to up our age span and specify that we request a little girl". Before I was even done speaking he butted in, "do it, do it now, this is right"!
So, it took a bit for it to sink in and I completed my drug store excursion with happy puffy eyes and still shaky! Got home and talked with my mom real quick and immediately called our sw Roy (awesome, love him). Of course I had to alert my BBF's before doing this post and have done so!
Thanks for the overjoyed responses thus far....
I don't second guess this decision one single bit (which is rare for the rule follower that I am) and am convinced that this is our fate and path. As Em put it and I couldn't agree more; "you made this decision when you made it because she's walking through those doors right now" (or something similar). And I truly believe that.
It's so funny because there have been two times in these eight months that I have reached out to our sw asking and flirting with the idea of changing age range (not gender). The last time I reached out to him was just last week! And I wasn't clear, just flirting. We ultimately decided there was no way we wanted to change... and here, look, only days later! The biggest change is not age for me but gender selection. My old mantra was, "well, you can't pick when your pregnant"! Well, guess what, you can pick when you're adopting and they all need homes. Soooooo I'm so over that already. This is the plan and I can't wait to feel it unfold and see her face!
How surreal to say that - This is completely crazy, but one of the first things I'm going to do and have been planning to do if we got a girl was to buy a beautiful chandelier for her room! Now I can start planning!! Woo hoo!
Love and hugs from lovely New Hampshire ~ the weather is heavenly these days~~
Feel free to only select prediction dates from now on minus gender - if you want me to change one that you currently have, alert me!


  1. Awesome!! Goosebumps. I had so much fun talking today. I love thinking that the Lord calls each of us on this journey and He knows the whole time exactly who our child/children are, we waffle at times, lose faith and He remains faithful, knowing the great gift at the end!!

    We are praying for her (how much fun is that to say) and trust that He will bring her to you soon. Go buy that chandelier- make it girly, ok?

    Love you, xoxo

  2. Wow, oh wowie WOW! A girl! And maybe a little toddler sweetie pie! Oh my word, how wonderful! I'm so happy for you, Lor. I know this wait has sucked... God's timing really bites sometimes, but He's in control. He has your beautiful little daughter preordained for you already! Oh my, that's so great!!! xo

    ps - Are you ever going to forgive me for neglecting you for more than a week? ;)

  3. I completely have goosebumps too! I'm keeping my prediction (I knew it would be a girl!) just in case the call does come in the next week! I love the part in the story where your husband says to do it now - that is amazing!

    And, you really shouldn't flirt with your social worker. :) Kidding!!

    So happy for you guys! Hoping to hear good news SOON!

  4. Oh I am so happy for you right now! I'll keep my date but obviously switch me to girl! Can't wait to hear more good news from you!

  5. i get goose bumps when i think of a child coming home or someone starting the adoption process ... i am so excited for your news ... God is amazing in the way He teaches us so much through adoption ...

  6. So happy for you and your family! I love your post, I can totally feel your raw emotions pouring through the computer.

    Ok, so I am changing my prediction to a girl ;), but keeping the date. Though I hope it happens before!!!!

  7. Yay Lori!!! I am SO changing my date prediction! I, too, "felt" like your family had a girl in it! I'm so excited for you I could just scream.

    I'm choosing one week from today: April 30th. Congratulations already! :)

  8. How exciting!! I'm so excited for you guys! You really are making the best decision! Can't wait to hear news of your referral (really soon :)

  9. This is exciting! It will be soon....it has to be!

  10. It is emotional waiting. I can relate. Good for you for expanding your date. It all happens for a reason.

  11. I just feel so upbeat and positive about this "change." I have to say I can relate to your feeling of "the rightness of your change." When Jeff and I upped our age range....I NEVER LOOKED BACK! We had been pushed and pushed and pushed on a wait time (for an infant) because God was screaming in our face to UP THE AGE! I am nothing but thrilled for you....I FREAKN' CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HER FACE!!!!!!!!!!!! SOONER THAN LATER THAT IS ;-)

  12. I am so happy for you. I can not wait to see your little girl. Better start getting some pink around your house. I hope you will get the phone call SOON!!!!

  13. YEAH!!!!!!! I have to say 3 year olds are amazing. We love that God saw differently in giving us a child older then requested. I'm THRILLED your getting a girl! I can totally picture her sweet lil face in your family picture. Can't wait to hear all about her....in Gods time of course. Praying His time is quick these days. Truly thrilled for you friend.

  14. Oh I can feel it yes I can....oh I can feel it...the time is at hand....

    Isnt it crazy that she is already here....

    I mean she is over there and has no idea her path is leading to you...I can remember all of your feelings exactly....oh SO EXACTLY!!!! It is such a tummy turning, overwhelming, questioning these HUGE LIFE DECISIONS time isnt it!!!

    If you mourn the loss of what you had picked before for a little while....that is really normal. I mourned the loss of a baby for a long time....and now....wouldnt want anything to do with it.

    I am so happy for you....I have a feeling your time is right around the corner...

    Thinking of you

    Mrs. B

  15. I just had to lie and tell my boss the tears were from just yawning!! Lori, I'm so happy for you!

  16. Congratulations! I, too, am in the waiting with WHFC and it is hard! Sounds like you did the right thing :)