Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Where am I?

I've been absent more than usual... for many reasons...

MP is away in Germany all this week... I had a terribly emotional weekend regarding adoption and other stuff...

The most wonderful experience of the week was meeting an amazing family close by with their adopted Ethiopian little boy.. just today.

It has given me a newfound hope and excitement long past of how wonderful and gifted our lives will soon be. This little guy (4yrs. old) was pure God given beauty... UNREAL!

Watching American Idol tonight and the fact that they did their "Idol Gives Back" segment on Ethiopia put me in tears...tears, and more tears...

I've realized (yet again) that this adoption is sooo much more than how it began... It began as MP and I expanding our family and has turned into a blessing of un-proportioned knowledge... My/our
eyes and hearts have been expanded beyond our wildest dreams. Where the end will take us is uncertain at this point, but I can certainly say that my love affair with Ethiopia and Africa has only just begun.

Our end to the waiting journey is sure to be soon-ish, but there is much more to this story... we've only begun this chapter, and I welcome with open arms whatever God leads us to do.

It is with my extreme and utter pleasure to give Jesus the reigns... I am letting go (should have long ago).... He was always in control and I hope to remember this in the coming days/months as we anxiously await our call. It is not a call to save his/her life, it is not a call to save my crazy obsession, it IS a call to give us both the path that has been chosen by HIM and to love and hold, and to give more than each of us can bear... but we (parent and child) will both do what is necessary and we will form a family of love, security and awareness.

There is so much more that I'm feeling and want to say, but am reserved right now... I want to save my gut thoughts until we get our referral and/or travel.

On one final note: Let's try to get our loved ones to watch American Idol Gives Back on April 9th... next week.

I'll do a post the day or so before, and I know that money isn't the answer, but it can help now...

Ciao Bella's

16 comments:

  1. Lori,so many of the feelings you have mentioned has been here too. We've had a few really bad adoption related days lately too.I have to let go,and let God.
    American Idol Gives Back...the short segment they showed about the sisters brought so many tears, in a short period of time.

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  2. Lori - my sweet sweet friend. I haven't watched idol yet. Its tivo'd. I knew I'd cry. Bawled last year too.

    Praying for peace in your soul my friend. God has your child in the palm of His hand, remember that. He loves your sweet babe perfectly. Every good and perfect gift comes from above, soon my friend soon.

    I'm blessed by your candor, praying for you as you wait well.

    Love you sweetie.

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  3. Precious Lori! I love this post. What a sweet visual of giving Jesus the reigns. He will care for you and bring you your babe at the perfect time.

    Moody and I were a mess as well watching Idol. I just felt such a strong connection to the city where our kids will meet us, so sad to see the reality of life there.

    I agree, we need to get people to watch!! Hope you have a wonderful day. Hugs from Texas.

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  4. Beautifully said Lori. You are right to give it up to the Lord. I know this process can make a person feel crazy, but giving it all to God is the only way it all makes sence.

    Thinking of you. So happy to see a new post. I check like everyday!

    American Idol, oh boy, that was a tear jerker.

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  5. You are a beautiful beautiful soul...and very strong my friend.
    If you EVER need an ear, please please give me a ring.
    Yes, you are right (as usual) the journey for all of us has just begun.

    XOXO,
    D

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  6. What a great perspective in the middle of waiting. Waiting is so hard, especially when you don't know how much longer you'll have to do it. I admire your choice to stay positive. You're lovely.
    Take Care,
    Jen

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  7. Yes, yes, yes... Me too! Idol wiped me out. I loved your words, Lori! "Soon" is coming... xo

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  8. So glad you are back! Yep, I really, really identify with all the emotional stuff. It never really goes away, at least for me, just changes as out situations change. Hang in there!

    So.. When is Idol on? What time, what channel? (Guess I should check our listings around here.) :)

    I think I'm a little out of it, but I'll watch it, too. I watched the whole thing one of the first seasons but now have been using my away-from-kids time running (literally and figuratively! Ha!), so keeping up with the world around me has gone by the wayside...

    Thinking of you!! I know there has to be a referral coming sometime soon! Have a great weekend!!

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  9. I forgot to answer your question. We were in Englewood, about 45 min - 1 hour south of Sarasota. It was so nice! Where were you? We could've run into each other!

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  10. Lori,
    I have been thinking about you. It is so hard to wait on God's timing. Call me any time you want to talk. Hey do you want to get together again?
    Lenka

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  11. Just letting you know that I am thinking about you!!

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  12. so glad you stopped by ... Emily has become my adopted sister ...I can't wait to watch AI next Wed. ... I remembering watching last year and just crying my eyes out ... This year will definitely be more emotional ...We haven't even started our paperwork to Ethiopia yet, but my heart is already there ... I am using the next 3 months to put the book together, so perhaps if your referral comes then you can do your story ... I will be praying

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  13. There she is :-). Nicely done my dear Lori. Very heart felt and cheers to you for letting go to the lord. As hard as this control obsession with the adoption wait is....you will be pleasently suprised!

    Your so strong..you will get there and be a Huge hearted family of 4 very soon!

    Ohhh I forgot about the give back show..dang it! NEXT WEEK!

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  14. I also saw American Idol and cried my eyes out. I blogged about it the same night.
    I love your post and I say "dito", you read my mind about how I feel on the process.

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  15. Thinking about you a ton and missing you :)

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  16. Thinking about you, praying for you, hoping that you are doing OK...
    xo

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