Monday, October 19, 2009


Hi! As usual, I'm starting this post off with nothing in particular to write about. But verbal vomit tends to come from these types of beginnings. Let see where the roller coaster of my pin brain leads us today!

I'm sick... it started in Cancun, I lost my voice but that was about it. It has escalated to feeling feverish and like my head is in a vice. Basically, the norm for me!

There have been some struggles that I cannot share with you all that my family has been dealing with, it looks like resolutionn is on the way. I know that's cyrptic... let's just leave it at that!

The kids are doing great, more than great and we became an official American family by purchasing a used gaming system over the weekend for us all to use. I'm a total dunce and cannot seem to figure out eight buttons at once. Practice should help. Either that or I'll give up.

What else has been on my mind... so so much. I'm still in Cancun in my head. Something kind of happened to me there. I feel like I became more of a free spirit. Like I embraced everything around me and fully escaped reality. I know that's what vacation should do, but it rarely does on the level I reached. Perhaps spending a couple of all nighters pool hoping to "glide around" and evading the security detail had something to do with it. It was a blast. If I wasn't in the water, I was dancing, dancing, dancing. I basically feel like I lived life. Lying in the ocean at night - running in the path of the moonlight into the ocean - lying in the sand counting stars and not caring about all the sand going into my hair or swimsuit - actually wearing AND buying a swimsuit for the first time in years - walking around not caring what I looked like - being a free spirit - and smiling A LOT! I didn't care about the condition of our room, picking up after myself at every turn, didn't care about any sort of schedule or plan, we decided at 11:30 at night to take a 45 minute cab ride into the city to go to one of the top ten (according to them) nightclubs in the world "Coco Bongo", staying there until the wee hours, chillin with a former NBA player for the night, and making an ass of myself trying to do the Dirty Dancing Baby lift with my girl Lynnie in the pool. Not once, but over and over and over (she's still in pain). And yes, that picture above of the infinity pool, I watched the sunrise from that very spot at the end!
Not to mention spending time with my girls -  so so priceless.

Hang on, gotta stir the meatballs....

Ok, so now home and back to reality. Being an adult again. It's ok... NOT! :)
We've had quite a few house showings which is good, I guess. If today's showing doesn't produce an offer then we're pulling it off the market. There is just too much going on with us and this time of year is horrible to consider having to move. Especially since it's pretty much me that has to do all the work of packing etc etc. Ick!

Ethiopia has been coming into my mind in flashes. I tried to put it on the back burner somewhat because it was taking over my life and consuming me. I feel good about where I'm at now. While I'm not ready to take on a cause or plan the next trip, it's something that crosses my mind daily. And when the time is right, I'll know.

I have a very powerful and difficult question to ask you momma's. Have you ever/would you ever take your child back there for a birth family visit if the child doesn't know his/her former family? It's been on my mind. A few weeks ago (hang on, time out. This should be another post but I'm in the mood) we rec'd word from our agency that they've had SEVERAL requests from Tessa's for an update and photos. I was very sad to learn that since about six months ago I put something very special together and sent it. Which means they don't have it. I want them to know, I want them to see. I even want them to touch her. Am I wrong? MP thinks it would cause a world of hurt for her, I think it would bring her peace. Especially since the last time she saw her it had to have been the most disgustingly heartbreaking moment one could live. I feel like I'm going to throw up just thinking about it. Anyway... I have to go get the kids now. What are your thoughts? And sorry for talking about "fun in cancun" and something so deep right after. Are you surprised?

Ps... I didn't proof this first and what the hell happened to spell check w/the new blogger?


  1. As part of our first post placement report for Aubrey we have to write a letter to the birth parents discussing her and our family. We plan on going back to Korea in about 3-4 years and actually would like the chance to meet the birth family just so they can see how well she is doing and let them know how much we love her and appreciate their sacrifice. Jeremy

  2. I think it's wonderful, but may be better for an older child. I don't know... then again knowing where you came from early on can be so so healthy for individual growth. The question is what is age appropriate and will be birth family be able to handle the child leaving again. Will the experience be traumatizing for the child? Life doesn't come with instructions does it?

    I pray that we're able to send pictures to our daughter's family. As a mom, the decision to give my child up would be heart wrenching. I would hope to give her solice in providing updates.'re going to make me cry just thinking about it.

    P.S. Our best vacation was in Cancun. We took the family there during my son's senior year of high school. We loved it, but getting my husband on a plane is like pulling teeth! I want to go now just by reading your post.

  3. Damn...I am supposed to be working but I had to read your update. And I have no idea what you should do. None. But I am very interested in your thoughts as well as others who have maybe been in a similar situation. I had our agency ask the birth mother at court if she would like for us and Orange to come and visit her when Orange gets bigger. I am anxious to see what she said. I think they have recorded it for me. Just happened last week so I haven't received all the info yet. I would love to take her back when she is an older teenager. But any sooner makes me nervous. I just don't know. Tough one. I am so glad you had a relaxing and crazy-fun time with your chicas at the beach. Good luck with your house...or not, I mean whichever you want to have happen. ;)

  4. I think birth family visits are great, but perhaps when the child is older. I have hopes of taking Birhanu back one day, but not for awhile. I think it's good for children to come to a point when they are older, that they ask questions, show interest, and at that time, if it's something they want to do, then great.

    For us, we just want Birhanu to be at peace with his life here in the U.S., before we venture to that place where there was both joy, but also really big heartache.

    Just my 2 cents! Great topic for discussion.

  5. Interesting that they never recieved what you have sent. We send stuff all the time and always recieve letters back saying they got our stuff ect. I would take Leuly back in a heart beat. When were there in July they asked to see him again and actually thought we were bringing him. Leul "knows" his family and we keep a picture up in his room and talk about them, so it's not "outta site, outta mind" for him. I think he's come a long ways and could handle it. We are planning on doing it sooner than later. So I think if you can talk to T. about it and she understands what is happening it would be okay. But each situation is soooo we even know when it's a good time or if its a good thing to do??? Tough stuff. Have you thought about asking WHFC for the address of the birth family and sending stuff yourself? We did and they were willing to do it, but didn't recommend it. Anyhoo feel free to email me if you wanna talk about it more :-).

  6. We will definately take the girls back, and probably if not next year - the year after. They both ask to go, and we all feel the pull of our Ethiopia. I think it will bring alot of emotions in both the girls and us, but that has proven to be a good thing for us. They are much better adjusted and content knowing all we know about the family and being able to communicate themselves if they want via pkgs. sent with other traveling families. I don't think it can be too soon, but I also know that you know your child better than anyone else and how much she can handle.

    ~Beth G.